From the LoopFest tour, Buzzbins in Canton, OH
Video by: My Rap Name is Alex
Be apart of Adryelle’s national tour and documentary filming. We will be going all the way to across the country and back. We will be heading from Baltimore to California, up the coast of California to Portland and back across the U.S. Filming will take place during all of this and will be released in a documentary next year. We will be campaigning to educate on the growing problem of sex trafficking in the country by distributing literature everywhere we go and discussing the issue with young people. Follow Adryelle as she plays in parks, beaches, house shows, venues, and street corners. In order to make this happen we need your help and support so we can feed the crew, have a place to sleep and eat. You make this possible!
Adryelle, a Baltimore songwriter and multi-instrumentalist released her first album independently under the name “Black Rose Cinema” which was picked up by a Canadian industrial/goth net-label, Flaming Fish. Various club owners and DJ’s in Norway, Brazil and Germany took interest in the album. A songwriter, producer, videographer, all in one, her visual art combined with audio skills can be seen in her music videos which she films and edits herself and sets her apart from other songwriters. She has had traditional radio play, as well as various Internet radio play and is on Spotify and Itunes. She has toured the East Coast and the Mid-West and regularly plays in the Delmarva area. She has also written music for commercials that were aired on various Comcast channels (BET, Home and Family). The dreamy sound, ethereal, intense, yet poetic has been dubbed “dream pop”. In May of 2014 she hit #1 on the charts of Reverbnation for the Indie genre of Baltimore, MD Adryelle released a new album, The Waiting Room, in July 2014 which can be purchased on her Bandcamp page at www.adryellemusic.bandcamp.com.”
Some of the rewards include: name credits on the documentary, tshirts, a copy of the documentary, a meet and greet during sound checks with your chance to be in the documentary, collaborations for songs with Adryelle, and more! Check them out.
Help Adryelle fund her national tour, while creating a documentary of the trip!
The Village Buzz North Central Ohio Rock
Adryelle - Rainbows
Today’s video is Adryelle’s Rainbows. Without letting too many cats out of too many bags, suffice it to say that one of Adryelle’s newer songs will be featured in our new podcast (the inaugural episode).
Adryelle comes to The Village Buzz via alumnus and fellow Baltimore native, Tim Kaye. She’s currently looking to book shows in Ohio, so if you have any opening slots, let’s get her down here.
Why you should care
Throughout the 90’s, I had a real thing about bedroom producers. Times were a little tougher then, hardware was expensive, and required some doing to figure out. This meant that by the time an artist had a workable system set up, they most likely had something interesting to say.
As technology progressed, it was all too easy for anyone to say anything they wanted musically. Unfortunately, most conversation were impossibly uninteresting. Even though pickings are slim, there are some gems out there. Adryelle is one of those gems.
Her style is quirky, playful, confessional, and above all, catchy. I found her creeping higher and higher on my “listen because I want to” list.
Giver her a few spins, you’ll agree.
We shot the breeze
Adryelle and I had a chance to talk about growing in the synthesizer age, enjoying the 90’s, and our infatuation with gear. Check it out here:
Where to dig for more
you can find more about Adryelle at:
Breaking The Silence
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Breaking the Silence - Interview with Susan
taken from unspokenspoken.org
*Trigger warning: description of childhood sexual abuse, child pornography and mention of attempted suicide. It’s not graphic, but may be triggering to some*
Written by: Adryelle
Breaking the silence of past abuse can be difficult, some people are stuck in denial about their past until something may trigger things to light. I had the opportunity to interview Susan (Twitter name @shinybluedress) about her past experiences and how she broke the silence and how she began her healing process. After you read it feel free to leave comments on what has helped you speak out!
Image courtesy of marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net Adryelle: Susan, Tell me your story briefly?
Susan: I’m a 54 year old intensive care nurse - wife to an amazing man, 32 years married and a mother of two grown up kids and also a grandma. I live in the UK. I was sexually abused from aged 4. My earliest memory is of being in my cot when my uncle came in and did something. At that age I saw it as just a game - because that’s how he presented the sexual act to me. I was also rewarded with hugs and a story and he sang me to sleep afterwards. Being so young I didn’t even know what it was, let alone that it was wrong.
Over the years the abuse became more serious in terms of what he did. He occasionally visited the family home and would be involved in my care when mum was unwell or working. I looked forward to his visits because I was vulnerable and needy. My mum was unable to provide the emotional support /stability that I needed and I always felt she despised me. In contrast my uncle praised and validated me. As he mixed the abuse in with the “good”care he gave me - I craved his attention - ANY attention that he gave. As I grew older and became aware of my body I developed a deep sense of shame about what I was doing. I never questioned that it was all his fault. I was the dirty disgusting person who engaged willingly in such things. It was my guilty secret.
Later from aged 11 he got me involved with other adults in a home grown porn ring - films and photos were taken and developed in a room in the house where it all took place. The transition was relatively easy as I was already highly sexualised and he used emotional blackmail to ensure my compliance. He told me he had debts to pay and that he was suicidal with worry about them. I feared that I would lose him and I would have done anything to keep him sweet and keep him with me. It was here that I was also groomed by a woman who was very much the facilitator /organizer of the “ring”. The things that happened in that room were detestable, unspeakable acts against me and at times I would dissociate by sending an imaginary girl called Suzie into the room instead of me. Suzie was “bad” and did much of the bad stuff while I looked on or hid behind a curtain ( In my imagination that is).
Then I became pregnant just before my 13th birthday and miscarried. My uncle scarpered and I never saw him again. But because I was dependent on him and I loved him I went looking for him! After this I had to go into care for a while as my unstable mother became mentally ill and was hospitalized. When she was better I came out of care and went back to living with my mum, but the woman found me and I engaged in a relationship with her. Later I got myself involved in escort work. Basically all my childhood I had been rewarded for sex. I learnt I could get money and I knew too easily how to do it. So when I was a very young adult this woman got me clients and to this day I have issues with females. I find it hard to trust them or to trust myself. I use my hubby as a shield, so basically I can tolerate women and behave “normally” with them as long as he is around.
I became a Christian at age 19 and started nursing too, meeting and marrying my hubby shortly after. I do feel I was rescued by these three lifestyle choices and think I would be dead by now if they hadn’t occurred. I’m told I am a high functioning survivor as I’ve managed to hold down a career and relationships despite everything. I know I’m very fortunate compared to many many many other survivors.
Adryelle: How old were you when you really started to work on your healing and break the silence?
Susan: It wasn’t until after the birth of my daughter. I was about 27. I couldn’t connect with her emotionally. I couldn’t parent her - I couldn’t give her what she needed from me as her mother. I was scared I would damage her, so I sought help within my church. I went to a close friend, but I couldn’t even speak out about who abused me. I was gob smacked when she prayed for me. Then she sat silently for a while before saying “it was your uncle wasn’t it? Your mother’s brother”. I believe God told her this to help me break the vow I was made to make as a child to never tell anyone. It was a huge breakthrough.
Adryelle: What was the tipping point that made you want to seek healing?
Susan: I didn’t disclose much more at that time. I was helped a little in terms of understanding how much I hated myself and in turn was projecting that onto my daughter. I had so much rage inside me, but I learnt to control it enough to parent her a little better. But I didn’t seek professional help - I just buried it all again and endeavored to move on. I thought that it would all be okay as long as I kept trying to be a good person and a good mum. I was in complete denial.
It was years later - in fact it was in 2012 when I was 52, that I finally sought help again. My personal life fell apart when something terrible happened - and everything unraveled and all the memories came to the surface. I was in despair - so much so that I went into the garage and tied a rope around my neck. I was desperate and I really scared myself. Then a short while later I was at a Coldplay gig listening to them perform the song “Fix You”. The next day that song was playing again and suddenly something finally broke inside me and I howled and howled and howled. I thought that if I didn’t seek help, I would die from the torment in my soul.
Adryelle: How did you tackle the shame and guilt?
Susan: This has been the hardest part. The counseling I received was key. I had a huge brick wall of guilt and shame and somehow, piece by piece in therapy, the bricks were being removed. I needed to unpick the memories - it was very in depth work - disclosing very shameful things that were done to me. My counselor was unshockable, wise and sensitive and with each memory would show me the truth - helping me understand that I couldn’t possibly be to blame. For a long time I couldn’t process that knowledge though - so deep inside I still felt ashamed and guilty. But it’s a process that takes time and a lot of hard work. There were water shed moments along the way that helped the pennies to drop. I engaged in the community of survivors at the Pandys.org website and talking through stuff with other survivors helped enormously. I also joined a survivors group meeting fortnightly - I knew these survivors weren’t to blame for their abuse and I began to let myself off the hook deep down too. But I had to keep standing on the truth, instead of believing the lies in my head and heart that it was my fault. Sounds easy but it wasn’t. And I still have a wobble about this from time to time. In fact it’s a daily battle.
Adryelle: What has been your biggest challenge through your healing?
Susan: I was forced at the age of 12 to touch a younger female child and this has tormented my soul. Also the feelings of arousal that I remember having from a very early age - and this together with the rewards I got from engaging in the sexual activities, made me feel like I wanted it and I liked it. I look back and remember how I felt at the time and it makes me shudder. It’s hard to shake off. I was well and truly groomed. I also battle with a chronic form of PTSD, which I’m learning to control but it’s really hard some days - and nights. The nightmares are the worst and they haven’t left me although their frequency has diminished.
Adryelle: What would you say to women / men who still haven’t spoken out about their abuse?
Susan: It’s a hard burden to carry this sort of secret and to suffer in silence. Keeping quiet just makes the secret fester away deep inside and can affect you emotionally and mentally, so it’s hard to cope with daily life and relationships. But it doesn’t have to be this way. I would urge anyone with this type of secret to find a safe person and take that very brave step and tell them. It takes huge courage and the journey may be long and painful but it’s the first step to peace and freedom and empowerment. That said - survivors carry the pain and legacy of their abuse throughout their lives. It truly is a life sentence. But getting help to deal with the past can help you cope better with your life both in the present and the future.
Adryelle: What advice can you give women / men who have spoken out but are struggling through the journey?
Susan: Make sure you have a good support network around you if possible. Counseling can make you feel worse before it gets better. Be gentle on yourself - there will be hills and valleys - even if you feel you’ve come a long way in your healing journey. It will be one step forward and two back at times. And speaking out can make you feel so vulnerable and exposed too. Counseling may be something you’ll have to be “in” for many years, but that’s okay. If it helps you cope with the valleys then so what. It takes courage to go to counseling - it’s not for weak people.
Adryelle: What are your future goals in speaking out on sexual abuse and how do you want to help others?
Susan: Since I did a radio interview, I’ve had so many folks in real life come and talk to me about their past and I’ve been able to help them find some support - one person has asked me to go to court with them just to support them through this horrendous process.
I suppose I want to keep talking about it - getting it out into the open. Hopefully it will help people see that they are not alone and this will help them begin to unlock their own past and start a healing journey. There are so many taboo subjects too (like the arousal a child can feel) and we need people willing to talk about it and to put it into context.
I’ve also been asked to be a testimony speaker at a midwives conference - highlighting how difficult it is for some women to undergo personal examinations. I’m hoping that there may also be an opportunity to help at the survivors group in the future.
I also want to use my voice to help non-survivors understand why we feel the way we do. It’s still a mystery to many. The grooming process just isn’t understood for a start.
Then there’s kids safety, education et cetera. I’ve had a meeting with a theatre company that uses drama to convey difficult subjects to school children. They want to do something on child abuse and have asked if parts of my story - especially the grooming process - can be used, converted into drama somehow. Stay updated on that by following me on Twitter (@shinybluedress)!
Basically I can’t change the past - I can’t help that little girl that I was forced to touch - I see her face every day - it stays with me. But I can turn what’s happened to me into something good and productive. A bit like poppies that grow on waste land. They say that nothing is wasted. Not even terrible trauma like this. It’s empowering to speak out finally. It’s healing in itself. It scratches the itch of pain if that makes sense. I just wish I’d not left it for so long.
Written by: Adryelle
this is good, lol.
What can a movie tell you about songwriting?
In film school we learned about the structure of a film. How does one write a screenplay? First we need to learn story structure. No story is the same. Every story is from another story in the past but it has a twist to it. Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story are the same story(Forbidden Romance), just in different settings, and time. Songwriting is storytelling too and a lot of songs have the same themes.
Screenplay structure is split up into 3 Acts.
Here is the structure of a screenplay:
Act I-Sets up the story
When a film starts out, it most always shows the main character or one of the main characters living their normal day-to-day life. Their alarm clock might go off and they will get up, go to work and move throughout their day until, The Catalyst.
The Catalyst (Act I)—causes the BIG EVENT to happen. It can be anything. (Say, the character flicks his cigarette out the window of his car…it causes a spark and the spark grows(Big Event))
Big Event (Act I) – It is a plot point in the story that changes the character and creates a problem (The spark causes a fire)
Pinch (Act II) This is a plot twist which your character cannot return, a obstacle from the big event.
Crisis (Act II) The Character is then in trouble and needs to find a resolution
Showdown (Act II/III) There are obstacles in the way to solve the problem and crisis
Realization (Act III) The character is changed forever, he will never be the same, the problem is resolved.
As you can see, movies are created because of plot twists in a story structure and it is very well planned out in a visual way but what does the viewer get out of it?
People like resolutions and even though we know how a story may end (With the good guy always winning) we like to see how it pans out in the moments of the movie, what are the obstacles, how can one relate? This is the way most movies are thought out.
What does this have to do with songwriting? Song are a series of moments.
Songs are stories. Songs are not visual, they are audible but the structures are a lot like a movie, if you are a visual person like me then I tend to see songs in visual form and create a story as if it was a movie… within a movie the story keeps building until the Showdown then it tapers off. Songs generally have a lyrical structure of this:
The music can be structured differently; it can be the same chords throughout the whole song however the melody will be different. Suppose a song is about love, the lyrics might start talking about two people and their life together, then there may be a problem in the pre-chorus and the main issue is in the chorus. The second verse might tell about where the couple exists currently, the bridge might tell of some kind of “resolution”. I like to look at each part of a song as a scene in a movie. Either way, the song has a story structure, all stories do and we can take that structure and apply it to many different types of media to help create and formulate a story. Tell me about your songwriting process.
Booking Tour 2014
I’m looking for shows in these areas on these dates, I am willing to open for other bands/musicians and am interested in playing any of these types of shows: house shows, festivals, music venues, bars, coffee shops, churches, restaurants, any events, etc:
October 16 — Pittsburgh, PA
October 17 — Buffalo, NY
October 18 — Toronto, CANADA
October 19 — Cleveland, OH
If you have any information please email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Become a Patron today!
Support Adryelle in the making of her music videos, blog articles and music.
Patreon is a lot like Kickstarter, but instead of supporting one big project with a lump sum, you would be supporting ongoing content: much smaller projects. It is a lot like tipping an artist for their work. For each piece of content you can donate $1, $3 or $5 dollars at the most twice per month.
You would be able to stop anytime, according to your budget. In turn, you would be able to view the Patron content stream and be the first to see new content that she will be releasing. Only Patrons can view the content stream. By supporting the artist you will be helping her make more of the art that you love.
Become a Patron at: www.patreon.com/adryelle